Reader matter:

i have already been single for years! I’m prepared have a relationship once again, and that I’m not getting more youthful! I’ve fulfilled an amazing man. We both being widowed for longer than six years. We set my pictures away but not my memories.

Im concerned because he has their spouse’s picture-hanging on the hearth, and then he questioned me to believe that it won’t be eliminated. I understand the guy appreciated her, and I also would never ask him to refute it.

I do not feel at ease. In my opinion i shall feel I’m the 3rd person. I’m not sure how exactly to experience it. Is it possible to find some advice here?

–Alondra H. (Montana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

This actually is a fine concern and another that I get a whole lot. I want one reframe the thought of this image. The woman above the hearth isn’t his life, inhaling partner. She’s symbolic of the enjoying connection this guy is able to form.

The guy requires his commitments very honestly. This is an excellent thing! He might be concerned about the thoughts of mature kids whom might begin to see the lacking image since their mama becoming changed.

When I happened to be a news reporter, used to do a profile on a resigned Air Force colonel who had generated the hop to Internet entrepreneur. His girlfriend managed the television staff at their house once I inquired if she could provide us with an on-camera “soundbyte” about his home life, she extremely gracefully declined by describing that they happened to be newlyweds and there had been another woman that has stood behind that man for 28 years before she passed away of breast cancer.  This made the colonel give the lady a huge hug and assert that she appear with him on camera.

My guidance to you: You should not check their later part of the partner as a hazard. See the lady as an ally. Removing an image won’t remove his thoughts, it might drive a wedge in a budding connection with a commitment-oriented man.

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